With the new year and all, I get that it's a total time for reflection. I've seen what "sucked in 2013!" or the things that made 2013 the "best. year. ever." via social media, and either way, somehow they managed to sum up an entire year in one Facebook status. It's a bit of a relief when you look around you and you realize that, right along with so many other people your age, it's normal if you're not exactly where you thought you'd be by this time in your life. It might be your career that's got you down, or your lack of a career, at that. Or maybe it's the fact that you thought you'd be settled down with #1 by now, contemplating the important things in life like what color to paint your dining room and what curtains make your ceilings look taller.
I wonder if all of this reflection, even though obviously a result of a new year, is also a single twentysomething, with no children, and a little fear of my future self, acknowledging the fact that I still have a small window of time to make drastic changes in life without having an impact on anyone else. I've always been one to think that with deep reflection, comes deep change. But, and there's always a but, maybe I've changed my mind, and deep change isn't what I, or people in general, need in times like this.
Let's just reflect for reflection's sake. For me, reflection has become an act of just simply taking a look back, carrying certain things with you and letting certain things go as you move forward. Maybe it's time we start taking this reflection business a little less serious. We're sure giving it a lot of credit these days, when really, WE are the ones doing the damn thing. Let's decide that big life changes are overrated for a change, and let's not attempt at changing ourselves so drastically. Of course everyone should always be working to improve upon their self. I'm definitely an advocate for self improvement. But just because it's a new year, and we've all spent so much time looking back at what's brought us to where we are right this second that we have actually started to be sick of ourselves, that doesn't mean we need to pressure ourselves to make changes. There are no "Quick Wins" in life. No big solutions to make us better people. It's the small solutions, the day by day things that make us who we want to be. It's the growing that changes us, not being fully grown.
Look at it this way...How likely is it finding love in 2014 will make YOU feel better about YOURself on a daily basis? You can't set a goal for something like that, it happens without your consent. How quickly do you think you'll be able to really let go of your guilt and your regrets that keep you a little peeved at life? These things are big and important for many reasons, and they should very-well be on your list of things to accomplish if that's what fancies you. But what's more important than these things is the small stuff in your day that combine in one huge way to build who you are as a person. It's the small changes that really contribute to a person's well-being. Small changes like wearing high heels and lipstick because, while small, those things make you feel more confident. Small changes like taking MORE time off work to have a mental health day or to just BE - Be who you want to be when you don't have to answer to someone, don't have to dress up, don't have to leave the couch. Just BE. Small changes like taking LESS time off work because well, you should just go to work already. Things like finding NEW work because you're more than what you're doing. Say no to things that will make you want to apologize to someone later. Doing what you want doesn't mean it's the best thing to do. Things like mentally telling yourself to 'STOP' when you're thinking negatively, and things like taking a hiatus from social media because compare, compare, compare.
These small things make you who you are more than any love that you could find should. They make you who you are more than any guilt or regrets should. There's no reason to have one or two massive goals in mind when you want to become a better person. Be good to yourself by recognizing the small things that make you who you are, and what makes you better day in and day out. Here's a hint: It will never reside in, revolve around, or even come close to including someone else. If it does, you're doing it wrong.
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