Saturday, June 30, 2012

Why You Feel the Way You Do

Because you have never met anyone like them.

Because you connect with them more than you've ever connected with anyone.

Because when you are together, you never concern yourself with anyone else because no one else even matters at this point.

Because there is no one else you would rather sleep with, lay with, do nothing with, drink with, dance with, or even fly a kite with.

Because ending a sentence with a preposition seems perfectly okay when talking about them.

Because they show up at your house whenever they please, take you completely off-guard, and proceed to say all of the right things. In large part because they are excellent bullshitters, but they say the right things, nonetheless.

Because they look at you like you are the only person they want to see. Even through the alcohol, you tell yourself this is how they always look at you, and what's not to love about that?

Because there is no one else you would want to call in sick for.

Because there is no one else you would want to wake up to.

Because everything they do makes you look at life differently than you ever have.

Because you can laugh and talk together; and a great conversation about important, or even unimportant, things is way underrated and surprisingly, hard to come by.

Because they are the perfect amount of spontaneity and predictability, and the least amount boring.

Because on a scale of one to 10, they are an 11 and you don't even feel corny when you say it.

Because even if they don't know what they want, you know what you want, and that's enough for you.

Because even though life gets in the way, you want to do whatever it takes to make it work.

Because when you have feelings like this, bad timing can be overlooked.

Because the second you met them, you felt like they were it. It was that feeling everyone always says you would feel.

Because they came so easily into your life that it couldn't be wrong.

Because this feeling is more than enough to be called love.

Because when you know, you just know.

Because, ultimately, you can't help the way you feel.

Thursday, June 28, 2012

10 Reasons Family Vacations are Allowed in Your Twenties

Some might think that family vacations are for when you are too young to know any better, and not old enough to stay at home by yourself. But allow me to reassure you, going on a full-blown family vacation at the ripe ol' age of almost 26 is not as bad as it may seem. Let me elaborate.

Family vacations are allowed in your twenties...

1. Because it reminds you why you spend every penny of your hard-earned money paying to live by yourself and drive your own car. It only takes about two days of piling in a two-bedroom condo with 6 other people before you are thinking, "Oh, this is why I wanted to blow my wad in order to move out of Mom and Dads..." Not to mention, what is it about family vacations that scream "Sure! All seven of us can fit into one car!?" God forbid, we have room to breathe on the way to our "family dinner."

2. Because there is a slight chance you won't have to pay for a meal or two, if you're lucky. And hey, after being more broke now than you have ever been before, a free meal or two is reason enough for you. The things we do for survival...

3. Because 15 years of going to the same small lake town just isn't enough. Call it nostalgia, call it tradition. Whatever the term, there is no denying that there is still a little appeal in being able to bitch that you "always go to the same place and do the exact same things."

4. Because you can use this time to get up close and personal with the newest additions to the family. Think of it as the initiation of the new significant other; or the hazing, if you will. Any person that can sit through your Dad's perverted jokes for days on end is worth keeping around for the long-haul.

5. Because your drinking skills get tested. Put a bunch of twenty-somethings in a small, confined space, and the drinking games will commence immediately. Maybe you are drinking because you are all alcoholics; maybe it's because it's the only way you can make it out alive; maybe, just maybe, you are drinking because you've already done everything else fun there is to do at the place! No matter the reason, just drink. That's what family vacations are for.

6. Because you can wear anything you want to, and since you are "out of towners," no one knows any better. Have a ridiculously short dress you've been dying to wear? What about some fancy scarf or hat? Just wear them. People can still judge you, and they will; but you won't have to see them again, so what difference does it make? Rock the shit out of that skanky dress.

7. Because a week away from work is a week away from work. Period.

8. Because you can determine who you miss while you're gone. A week out of the office, or a week without your regular bars, regular friends, and, shamefully, your regular booty calls, can speak volumes. Let them know you missed them when the time's right.

9. Because it allows you to crack jokes about your sexuality that make your parents shake their head in disapproval, and you can't help but love every second of it. Making the mistake of mentioning you love Seth Rogen is like a giant tease for the Mom of a gay daughter. "Well, there are men out there JUST as funny as Seth Rogen if only you would look for them." You're right, Mom. I choose not to be gay now. Thanks for saving me from a life full of vagina.

10. Because, no matter how much you hate to admit it, you actually enjoy spending time with your family. Yes, an entire week is quite a long time, and there are a million other things you could be doing, or probably should be doing, but in the end, your family is what will matter. Be a team player and get on with it.

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

The Overarching Lessons of Chick Flicks

I'm extra disgustingly sick today. Doctor's orders? A large Lion's Choice value meal, a Diet Dr Pepper and an ABSOLUTELY HORRIFIC chick flick,"One Day." Okay, it wasn't that bad. Just horrifically sad. Notice I didn't say 'work' once in that sentence. After much deliberation, I can honestly say that I love working and I wouldn't have it any other way; but for god's sake, don't tempt me with sick leave, because I don't play around.

Naturally (and selfishly, might I add), "One Day" had me relating every single thing in the movie to my own life. What if I had a british accent? What if, like Anne Hathaway, I walked around pretending to have a british accent? What if I cut off all of my hair? (You're right, it wouldn't happen). What kind of girl would I be if I spent an entire road trip with my handsome best friend and I didn't slut it up with him? Okay, I realize that being gay makes this one utterly impossible, but it just goes to show the craziness that consumes my thoughts when I watch movies like this.

Finally, what if One Day each year was instead One Day every week of Erica Jackson's life.. Tuesday, to be exact. Why Tuesday? Thanks for asking.

It hit me this morning that if, for some ridiculous reason, someone were to be a fly on the wall for literally every single Tuesday of my life since about three years ago, they would know a lot about me. For example, they would know enough about me to determine if I'm A) actually smart like my MBA suggests, or if I'm B) just a chick with the MBA that's in debt. The correct answer is B, by the way. Or if I'm A) a rational psycho, or B) just a plain-ol' psycho. I'll let you decide that one. They would have seen me at my worst (bound to have happened one Tuesday), my best (also bound to have happened), my happiest (recently, a lot of Tuesdays), my sickest (Exhibit A: today), my sexiest (shockingly, not that long ago), my most confused (any Tuesday, I'm sure) and, regrettably, my crazy ex-girlfriendest. Hey, sometimes when you find out the worst thing you have ever heard, it's happens to be a Tuesday. It also happens to be not even close to the worst thing you've ever heard.

I am most definitely the type of person that looks at everything in terms of timing. It's been 4 days since I've heard from them. A lease in the Northwest is the same 365 days as a lease in the Midwest, right? It's been weeks since I've gone a day without alcohol. It takes me almost an entire Kelly Clarkson CD to get to work and back. Is it bad to date someone 4 years older than me?

This thing I have with timing is how I know that the "worst thing I've ever heard" isn't the worst after all- because I can hardly recall which year it even happened. Therefore, it can't be anything of such great significance in my life. Sure, it taught me things, it allowed me to see people for who they are, and all that good stuff. And yes, at the time, it killed. But in real time? It killed the wretched, crazy person I was becoming so I could be me again.

You could say I have claimed the title of Worst Timing Ever with my recent love stories. But I beg to differ. I think that would go to Dexter in the movie at hand. He spent 20 years of his life putting the person he was in love with aside so he could "sow his wild oats," just to finally be with her, and then she (SPOILER!) dies. Honestly, I'm not even sure if he got the short end of the stick here, or if Emma did. She spent the same 20 years living with people she wasn't in love with, basically waiting for Dexter, then got over him, just so he could come back around for good, and then she, (SPOILER AGAIN!) dies! That's a toss up if I've ever heard of one. That's also the movie in a nutshell, so no need to Netflix it and cry your eyes out like I did.

The valuable lessons of this particular chick flick are obvious. And yes, there are valuable lessons in chick flicks. At least for the hopeless romantic viewers.

Valuable Lesson #1
Grow enough balls to tell the people you are in love with that you are in love with them ASAP. None of this waiting 20 years bullsh*t. It's something we are told day after day, year after year. Why it's such a hard concept for some to grasp is beyond me. They don't love you back? Play like that Jay-Z song and be On to the Next One. (Easier rapped than done).

Valuable Lesson #2
"Sowing your wild oats" is a cop out for those less certain of what they want. According to Urban Dictionary (my very favorite, very credible source), "sowing your wild oats" means to "have sex with as many people, enjoy life, and have fun before settling down." In other words "my maturity level is that of a 17-year old and I'm sorry that I can't get my shit together enough to commit to one sole person yet." Man, who knew Urban Dictionary was so smart?

Valuable Lesson #3
Some things never get forgotten. The way you make someone feel is something that will never be forgotten. You could run away and stop all communication, come back in a year and it will still be there. I'd like to think people can move on or turn things off, but I have the gut instinct that they do not, and chick flicks completely back me up on this. Take "The Notebook," for example. Allie went away for however long it was, was THIS close to getting wifed up by someone else, and then BAM! As the movie says (right before that hot sex scene), "it still isn't over."

Valuable Lesson #4
This is a good one, in part because I was such a jerk in Valuable Lessons #1 and #2. People should be with people that make them better people. My favorite line in the movie: "She made you decent, and you made her so happy."

If I have learned anything from my slew of chick flicks lately, it's that I need to be with someone that makes me a better person, and the person I'm with has to feel the same way. Not in the "before you, I was a mass-murderer and never showered and now I go to church every Sunday so fresh and so clean" way, but in the "before you, I wanted to sleep around, and mack on chicks, and now I only want to get it on with you" way. Or something like that, maybe.

No, but it really is a Valuable Lesson. For example, I know I have the tendency to plan too much, so the person I'll end up with will hopefully make me be more spontaneous. I like to think way too much about things, so the person I'm with will most likely tell me quite often to stop thinking and get on with it. I have the habit of getting envious of people for no apparent reason, so the person I'll end up with will make me feel even more confident in whatever it is I have, that envy won't be an issue. I know I can act way too grown up and work too hard, so they will play with me until I am reminded of never having to actually grow up, and lay in bed with me until we want to face the day. I'd even go as far as to say that since I have a the tendency of spending way more than I should, I'll end up with a number cruncher; but I don't think I'd ever allow that. Besides, no one likes a cheap ass.

So, in any event, if it just so happens that some random Tuesday morning comes around, and you find out that the person you are with is cheating on you and is, in fact, in love with someone else, it might seem like the worst thing you've ever heard- up to that unknown year in your life. In addition, if you are like me, you were probably being wretched to everyone you saw for weeks prior because you knew something was up-again, in that unknown year. You were probably losing yourself while you spent all of your time trying to find your girlfriend. You probably didn't know that you aren't supposed to be with someone that makes you a spiraling roller coaster of depressing emotions. You are, on the contrary, supposed to be with someone that makes you a flailing roller coaster of love, passion, and excitement. Yes, I said flailing.

There is only one way I could have known all of this during that unknown year when I heard the "worst thing I've ever heard": If only "One Day" had come out in 2010, instead of 2011. I guess some things really do go unforgotten.

What's the point of them, if they aren't making you a better person?


Monday, June 25, 2012

Another 20-Something Writer Takes it to the Masses

I know what you're thinking, as you roll your eyes:

"You are quite the innovator... attempting to post your ramblings online... as if anyone is interested in anything you have to say these days... this has never been done before." 

Condescending Wonka would probably have a hay-day making jabs at me right now.

Right? Wrong- you shouldn't give me that much credit.

I am taking my thoughts to this blog as an easy way out. Because I spend way more time confined in front of a computer than what should be allowed for a 25-year old trying to... well, trying to try. And, the number one reason, because I am too lazy to continue to cursively write my thoughts on actual paper anymore. Who does that?!

If anyone knows me at all, you can probably guess what most of this bullsh*t will pertain to (no, it's not drinking, music and gay bars, although I'm aware that could be a pretty fitting and legit blog, man). It's Love. It's People. It's feelings about love and people. If you don't know me at all, you should know that, while I extremely enjoy drinking, music, and gay bars, the thing that consumes about 97.5% of my brain is love and its surroundings. I hope it's an age thing. Maybe it's a me thing. Maybe I hope it's that instead. Who knows.
Just a quick introduction to this new endeavor-
  1. No promises as to how often/how seldom I will be blogging on here.
  2. No promises as to how insightful, corny, interesting, enlightening, fun, sarcastic, witty, cynical, over-analytical, insert adjective here, this blog may become.
  3. No promises.
  4. No promises.
  5. And... no promises.
As you can see, you shouldn't have any expectations about this. If you do, you will get completely slighted in no more than 2 seconds when you finish reading this first entry, and it will be all my fault. My sincere apologies for that, by the way.