Some might think that family vacations are for when you are too young to know any better, and not old enough to stay at home by yourself. But allow me to reassure you, going on a full-blown family vacation at the ripe ol' age of almost 26 is not as bad as it may seem. Let me elaborate.
Family vacations are allowed in your twenties...
1. Because it reminds you why you spend every penny of your hard-earned money paying to live by yourself and drive your own car. It only takes about two days of piling in a two-bedroom condo with 6 other people before you are thinking, "Oh, this is why I wanted to blow my wad in order to move out of Mom and Dads..." Not to mention, what is it about family vacations that scream "Sure! All seven of us can fit into one car!?" God forbid, we have room to breathe on the way to our "family dinner."
2. Because there is a slight chance you won't have to pay for a meal or two, if you're lucky. And hey, after being more broke now than you have ever been before, a free meal or two is reason enough for you. The things we do for survival...
3. Because 15 years of going to the same small lake town just isn't enough. Call it nostalgia, call it tradition. Whatever the term, there is no denying that there is still a little appeal in being able to bitch that you "always go to the same place and do the exact same things."
4. Because you can use this time to get up close and personal with the newest additions to the family. Think of it as the initiation of the new significant other; or the hazing, if you will. Any person that can sit through your Dad's perverted jokes for days on end is worth keeping around for the long-haul.
5. Because your drinking skills get tested. Put a bunch of twenty-somethings in a small, confined space, and the drinking games will commence immediately. Maybe you are drinking because you are all alcoholics; maybe it's because it's the only way you can make it out alive; maybe, just maybe, you are drinking because you've already done everything else fun there is to do at the place! No matter the reason, just drink. That's what family vacations are for.
6. Because you can wear anything you want to, and since you are "out of towners," no one knows any better. Have a ridiculously short dress you've been dying to wear? What about some fancy scarf or hat? Just wear them. People can still judge you, and they will; but you won't have to see them again, so what difference does it make? Rock the shit out of that skanky dress.
7. Because a week away from work is a week away from work. Period.
8. Because you can determine who you miss while you're gone. A week out of the office, or a week without your regular bars, regular friends, and, shamefully, your regular booty calls, can speak volumes. Let them know you missed them when the time's right.
9. Because it allows you to crack jokes about your sexuality that make your parents shake their head in disapproval, and you can't help but love every second of it. Making the mistake of mentioning you love Seth Rogen is like a giant tease for the Mom of a gay daughter. "Well, there are men out there JUST as funny as Seth Rogen if only you would look for them." You're right, Mom. I choose not to be gay now. Thanks for saving me from a life full of vagina.
10. Because, no matter how much you hate to admit it, you actually enjoy spending time with your family. Yes, an entire week is quite a long time, and there are a million other things you could be doing, or probably should be doing, but in the end, your family is what will matter. Be a team player and get on with it.
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