We are all well aware that people sometimes come and go so quickly in our lives, it's hard to remember them after a small amount of time passes. And others come and go, but not so quickly at all. I'm not sure which is worse, actually. I'd like to think that having someone choose to leave your life after being around for ten years would be worse than them leaving after only six months, but I have to say, I'm not convinced. Leaving is leaving, after all. I think it's safe to assume that there are only a handful of people in life you've been lucky enough to call constants- they are always there for you, no matter how much of a pain in the ass you are being, or how drunk you are, or how hard it is to keep in touch with you, they always find a way to be in your life because they want to be.
Luckily for me, I have three sisters and a brother, all of which are stuck with me, regardless of my laughing fits that annoy the shit out of them, and my complete blonde moments, when I don't understand a thing my brother is talking about; I also have my parents that have been happily married for almost 40 years - If that's not a constant, I don't know what is. Other than my family, I can count the number of constants in my life on two-maybe even one-hand.
Things are different for me now, obviously. No longer am I sitting around, worried about who on the cheerleading squad might be talking about me behind my back. I think they call this growing up...I've finally reached a point in my life where I am, instead, figuring out who is in my life for a reason, and who is in my life just to pass through, probably causing some emotional damage along the way. You can pick and choose and be on your way- like you are weeding people out of your life- OkCupid style. Five-starring the keepers, and scrolling past the rest. Let me just hit this point home by saying, I've never intentionally five-starred anyone in my three years on OkCupid.
Congratulations... this is what your mid-twenties is about (no, not OkCupid). It's not about the number of people you slam (that was college, remember?), it's not about how much money you make (I imagine that comes later), and it's hardly about Sunday Funday (like the name says, it's fun and all, but really?), it's about first figuring out yourself, and then figuring out the people that surround you, and deciding why they were brought into your life.
Now is the time where you can decide who you want in your life, and whose life you want to be in. Rarely do we meet someone that makes us think "This is it; there's a reason you're coming into my life now," and I can only think of one person, in my entire 25 years and 358 days (What? I told you 5 posts ago- I think in terms of time), that had me asking myself that question. There is a very small window to figure out why someone came into your life, before they are gone from it again, hardly ever looking back. An even smaller window if you don't know how to treat the person the way they deserve to be treated. Just saying.
While I am all about living young, wild, and free in your twenties, I think something is missing from many twenty-somethings lately. Since when does being a twenty-something mean you have to run through people like you are eight and they are your barbies? It will be a rude awakening for some when they come to terms with the fact that they should be using this time to build relationships, not burn bridges.
Ultimately, everyone has a choice. The fact of the matter is, a lot of people will choose to be without you. For many reasons...They will blame timing, they will say life got in the way, they will be too lazy to ever figure out why you came into their life, or more accurately, they will not care nearly enough about you to give you the chance to be in their life. Even fewer people than that choose to be with you, will choose to make you a constant in their life, and give you the same privilege. If someone pops in your life and you are suddenly wondering why, there's a reason for it. It's up to you if you want to ignore it. When those people come around, give them- and yourself- the chance to figure out why. Otherwise, it could be you that's missing out.
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