Some of the things we catch ourselves saying take us off-guard. We didn't even know how to explain the way that we felt until we were blurting it out for the most important people in our lives to hear it. If this was some awful infomercial, and if every word you've ever spoken, or had spoken to you, was translatable in monetary form, I would make you a money-back guarantee. I can guarantee that those same things that we remember so vividly saying to people at one point in our lives, are also remembered by the people we said them to.
However, just as some of the people that come through your life will disappear, some of the things that were said to you may also go easily forgotten. No matter how big or small those words were at the time, not everything can remain. But even if you've only ever been in one single relationship, whether it's true or false, positive or negative, or it's completely rude or it's so nice it melts you, there's bound to be things you can't forget. Your head, your heart, and your soul just won't let you forget them. The memories remain for multiple reasons: some linger in your life just to remind you that there will be some bad times, and to keep you in check; even more so, though, some memories are simply there to remind you of the good (or great, or amazing) times, to make you feel giddy, and to put a beautiful smile on your face.
So, without further adieu, here the just a few of the defining moments in my life:
"I wanted to wait for you to try it." Granted, the entire context of this conversation involved trying sushi for the first time at the Drunken Fish, the idea that someone wanted so much to try this new food with me that they put off trying it with a group of friends made me smile. Not that I want to stop someone from doing what they want with who they want, but this person decided completely on their own that they wanted to share that experience with ME as opposed to someone else. Less than a week later, we went to the Drunken Fish and ate sushi together for the first time. While this sounds utterly ridiculous, in retrospect, this situation taught me what it meant to want to do new things with the one you love.
"Why are you being so dense?" Okay, so not the best thing to remember, but like I said, some shit just sticks with you, positive or negative, rude or nice. You can't help what you can remember. To put the icing on the cake, the best part about remembering this situation is that I don't remember a single thing about what caused someone to say such a thing. Unfortunately, I can supply you with no contextual information on this one. To this day, I couldn't tell you what "dense" thing I said, or what "dense" thing I did. All I can recall is that someone thought I was being dense, and it fucking hurt. All I can remember is them asking me "why are you being so dense?" I guess the dense part overshadowed the entire conversation prior to. That's how much it stuck out in my mind.
"Awww, I can see your laugh through the phone!" Again, with the context. This person was totally wasted and drunk-dialed my ass while I was passing out early (AKA being lame) on a work night. However, in their drunken stammer, they let it slip that they could picture me laughing through the phone to whatever wasted nonsense they had just said. It gave me butterflies, and made me realize that maybe this person wasn't just drunk-dialing me. Maybe they were thinking of me, and they really could picture me in their head. And if they were going to picture me, I'd much prefer to be laughing in the image, other than doing something idiotic like I am doing the other 98 percent of the time.
"Are you happy now?" Picture this: Me balling my eyes out, just having discovered some shitty information that would, in turn, put an end to one of the most important relationships in my life as a twentysomething. Instead of an apology or an attempt at fixing the situation, one of the most closed-up people I know began to cry in front of me for the what seemed like the first time ever. As tears streamed down her face, she asked me if I was happy now. The truth is, I was happy. I was happy that she could finally cry and show some sort of remorse. Most of all, I was happy to finally know that I meant enough to her that the things she had done, that impacted me so hugely, made her cry.
"No." It might be just one word, but depending on the context, this word can speak volumes. If I happen to ask you (in my mushy, cheesy, romantic way) if you think you need to date anyone else just to know if I'm the person you want to be with, and you quickly respond with "no," I'm going to remember it, regardless of whether or not it's the truth. Because, well, how am I to know what's the truth or what's a lie? Guess I just have to trust you. :)
The things that have stuck with me over time are, by far, some of the most defining moments in my life. They were said to me by people I think highly of, by people that I love dearly, and by people that I am, to this day, not able to define my feelings for, but in the least, I know a part of me was just crazy about them.
These defining moments also prove that words really are the things that cause feelings - good and bad. And when it comes to words, some things are better left unsaid, because they might just be remembered. I also know that we aren't supposed to believe every word we hear, or (in this day and age) every word we read in a text message or in an email. But I guess in the end, all you have is your word, so we should make it an honest one at that.
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