My bottom line opinion (don't you know, telling you my opinion and why it's the right one is the biggest perk to having a blog): The person you're dating, and even more so, the person you are in a full-blown relationship with, should not be competing with you. However, someone that challenges you in relationships can be a great and exciting thing.
Here's the thing. If someone is constantly trying to one-up you, and they are tearing you down any chance they get, chances are you're still in high school and that person is your bitchy best friend that you won't have shit to do with once college comes around (I mean, not that I know by experience or anything). OR, worst case scenario, this person is your significant other. Chances are, this person competing with you is not someone that's in love with you. There's some underlying issue at hand when your significant other finds it difficult to be HAPPY for you when you deserve it. Whether it's a personal issue, or some resentment they have built up for you... regardless. It's not a healthy thing whatsoever in a relationship to be so competitive with your bitches that you would rather see them fail than succeed.
Where's this all coming from, you might ask? Let me tell you. It stems from a relationship where one party thinks that her style is waaaaay cooler than that of the other party; it stems from a relationship where one party is scared that having "mutual" friends will actually mean she'd be losing some, or that she'd have to share; it stems from a relationship where alllllll one party wants is a little support during her first 5K, and alllllll she gets is a glance back from half a mile ahead, and a speed increase so it becomes impossible to catch up.
That whole "don't walk in front of me, don't walk behind me" bullshit most likely came from this EXACT situation. It all started because one lesbian wanted another lesbian to run by her side during her first 5K. Instead, she got someone that seemed to want to beat her ass in the race more than support her while she almost died finishing it (a bit of an exaggeration, but hey, look here! Some people are way out of shape, Jack!).
A significant other that challenges you, on the other hand, is fabulous in my eyes! By challenge, I don't mean they disagree with every single statement you've ever made just because they can, and I don't mean they contradict your every thought because, heaven forbid, you ever be RIGHT. I mean that they think differently than you; They open your eyes to new things that you might find hard to fully grasp. They show you things that you're missing - either for your eyes to see, or for your mind to see. They challenge you by having their own minds, their own opinions, and their own sense of self, all the while being completely open to you and yours.
I realize my definition of someone that challenges you is probably more along the lines a fairy tale prince(ss) challenger and it might be hard to come by in real life. But if situations were perfect, this is how I imagine they'd be.
Perfect, fairy tale situation or not. A nice challenge to your point of view, or the ability to show you something you may not ever think of, is always a refreshing thing from someone you love. It keeps you on your toes, and if nothing else, I'd think it would help you appreciate the person you have by your side even more.
The lesson to take away from this: If you find yourself competing with your significant other, stop and think about WHY you're doing this. Are you jealous of them? Resenting them for something? Just wish they'd stop being so fucking amazing? It happens. But it's YOUR significant other. Would you want anything less than an amazing significant other? No. You want the god damn BEST person for yourself, and for them. Support them. Challenge them in healthy ways. Be there to watch them succeed, and help them up when they don't. If you don't do it, someone else will.
Wait wait, so you are saying foot racing all my dates is a GOOD thing or a BAD thing?
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