20 of Life's Little Pleasures

Not every day can be the best day ever. In fact, some days, I ask myself "Is THIS is the best I can get?! WTF!" I mean, I wake up before 6am, I barely remember to brush my teeth and deodorize (read: I said barely!), I drive my long ass commute to my office gig, do my thang for 9 hours, drive my long ass commute all the way back home, and entertain myself throughout the evening any way that I can (sometimes by singing in the shower; sometimes by watching bad TV; sometimes by writing one of these brilliant blogs. Thrilling, I KNOW). I'm not going to lie, things can tend to get a little monotonous. It might be the only downside to liking a little structure in my life. But, I'm also aware that it could be much worse. For instance, tonight, I got a bill from AT&T informing me of the next ass raping of $180 to be debited from my bank account by the end of the month. Let it be known that I haven't even HAD AT&T SERVICES SINCE JUNE. God, they are ridiculous...

When shitty things happen in life, like when you're getting completely ripped off by a cable company, or when every sad, sappy love song makes you never want to leave your bed, or when you're someones best kept secret just so they can save themselves from having to answer to someone else (because we are all pussies, after all), there are solutions. There are always little things in life that turn that frown upside down. Even if you are a cold and heartless bitch that has no soul! There's even something for you shameful people, too. Like, knowing that I had even the slightest day of crap. I bet that makes you smile from ear to ear. Assholes. BUT regardless, everyone has something that can brighten their day. You just have to find out what those things are. Ah! The catch.

I have done some inside diving (that has a nasty ring to it and I LIKE IT!) lately, in order to discover what makes my heart hurt from anxiety and negative feelings, and what makes my face hurt from smiling and, not to mention, laughing so hard that I can only imagine the annoyance I cause to the poor people around me. Some things that I took for granted before this little pleasure-discovering voyage (no, I'm not referring to a lesbian cruise of the Bahamas...) really do put a smile on my face. Life's little pleasures like these:

1. The first five minutes of my car ride. It's at this point in my drive that my two front speakers momentarily forget that they are indeed BLOWN, and they are functioning just fine. Okay, so not really just fine. There's a little static, but it's better than feeling like I need to drive my car from the backseat in order to hear my music.
2. Thinking that I'm running late, and then glancing at the clock just to realize that I still have 10 minutes until I need to leave.
3. Waking up at 3am, and getting to go back to sleep for at least 2 more hours.
4. Stopping at my parents house after work, just to discover that my Dad is making a big breakfast consisting of eggs, bacon, biscuits and gravy, and toast, for dinner. It's my lucky day!
5. Having a real-life PenPal. Not one of those stranger-danger inmates that just want you to send them pictures all of the time....... That's a trick. A dirty, nasty trick, I tell ya. I'm talkin' about a REAL PenPal that's interested in your life, not your vagina. Unless, they are interested in your life AND your vagina. Well, then, that's just a fucking rad PenPal. BAM!
6. Catching one of your favorite songs on the radio - at the beginning! If you catch it at the end, that isn't exactly a little pleasure, now is it? Nope. That's just a tease.
7. Arriving to work after a vacation and having less than 15 emails in your inbox.
   
8. Waking up after a drunken night of restless sleep, only to realize that one of your soberish BFF's cleaned up your place after the party died down last night. SHIT'S AWESOME.
9. In addition to #8, you also wake up fully refreshed after said party. Either because you threw up all of the alcohol before you passed out last night, or because you remembered to eat bread and drink a Gatorade before your drunken slumber. No matter why, you feel amazing. Bloody Mary's and Mimosa's for all!
10. When you think you're catching a cold, or getting full-blown pneumonia, and you WebMD your symptoms and it tells you that you are 2 days away from dying, but then you come to find it's just your period again. Don't get me wrong, menstruation is a bitch, but it's better than being ACTUALLY sick (or pregnant, or 2 days away from your death). And never WebMD your symptoms because it will turn you into a bat-shit crazy hypochondriac! If you take anything from this blog, let it be that.
11. DVR. DVR puts a smile on my face, damnit. Being able to watch Jersey Shore, and New Girl, and every other lame TV show I record whenever I want brightens the hell out of my day.
12. Free shipping and/or promotional codes. I never thought it would be so fun to have something shipped to me, but it really is. You feel like you are getting such a bargain, when really, you're just paying what you should have been paying even without that stupid promo code.
13. Hearing a voice you haven't heard in a long time. Everyone says that a scent is the thing people miss the most about someone. I beg to differ. To me, it's their voice. How they say your name, or even just how they say "hello" or "absolutely." Whatever it is, when you hear it, life's hitting you with a lovely little pleasure.
14. Having flowers sent to you. Or to me. Yes, to me.
15. Spotify. Free music for all! God bless Spotify. I have it at home, at work, on my phone, up my ass. I have Spotify in places you don't want to know.
16. Goodnight/Good Morning text messages, phone calls, emails, etc. Anyone that takes the thought just to tell you goodnight and good morning is worth your time. It means that you are in their thoughts, and if they're being sincere, they are wishing you a good night and a good morning! Don't take those little words for granted. Someday, all you may want is someone that cares enough to wish you goodnight and good morning.  
17. When you like someone, and they actually REALLY like you right back. That's such a fucking pleasure, man. You don't realize it, but the number of times this happens in life is pretty limited. Unrequited love and heartbreak is the number one cause of death. No, I'm totally making that shit up. But the hopeless romantic in me half-way believes it's the truth. If it's the real thing, it's one of the best things. 
18. Working in a group setting during class/work and having everyone in the group actually do their respective job. Team projects are the pits. If you have a team that actually does what they are supposed to do, and everyone collaborates and ONE person isn't abandoned to do the entire thing solo, then you've hit the jackpot in team projects.
19. Finding someone to cover your serving shift when you are laying in someone else's bed, naked, and with no intentions of leaving any time soon - work or no work. They just saved you from calling in sick, or, in some cases, the dreaded no-call-no-show. Buy that poor bastard a shot next time you're out with them. 
20. When someone surprises you. And I don't mean in the "Everyone down, turn off the lights, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" kind of way. I mean they legitimately impress you in a way that you didn't think they could. They send that email out ASAP, they give you some really, really good advice that you didn't think they were smart enough to know, they send you flowers when you didn't even know that make-out session meant anything to them, they are completely and utterly honest with you about their feelings out of the blue, they've known all along exactly what it would take to make you happy, and they actually do it this time, and they don't let you down. Sometimes, all you need to brighten your day is for someone to step it up and surprise you. 

P.S. Someone from AT&T may need this blog as a reminder tomorrow...