Naturally (and selfishly, might I add), "One Day" had me relating every single thing in the movie to my own life. What if I had a british accent? What if, like Anne Hathaway, I walked around pretending to have a british accent? What if I cut off all of my hair? (You're right, it wouldn't happen). What kind of girl would I be if I spent an entire road trip with my handsome best friend and I didn't slut it up with him? Okay, I realize that being gay makes this one utterly impossible, but it just goes to show the craziness that consumes my thoughts when I watch movies like this.
Finally, what if One Day each year was instead One Day every week of Erica Jackson's life.. Tuesday, to be exact. Why Tuesday? Thanks for asking.
It hit me this morning that if, for some ridiculous reason, someone were to be a fly on the wall for literally every single Tuesday of my life since about three years ago, they would know a lot about me. For example, they would know enough about me to determine if I'm A) actually smart like my MBA suggests, or if I'm B) just a chick with the MBA that's in debt. The correct answer is B, by the way. Or if I'm A) a rational psycho, or B) just a plain-ol' psycho. I'll let you decide that one. They would have seen me at my worst (bound to have happened one Tuesday), my best (also bound to have happened), my happiest (recently, a lot of Tuesdays), my sickest (Exhibit A: today), my sexiest (shockingly, not that long ago), my most confused (any Tuesday, I'm sure) and, regrettably, my crazy ex-girlfriendest. Hey, sometimes when you find out the worst thing you have ever heard, it's happens to be a Tuesday. It also happens to be not even close to the worst thing you've ever heard.
I am most definitely the type of person that looks at everything in terms of timing. It's been 4 days since I've heard from them. A lease in the Northwest is the same 365 days as a lease in the Midwest, right? It's been weeks since I've gone a day without alcohol. It takes me almost an entire Kelly Clarkson CD to get to work and back. Is it bad to date someone 4 years older than me?
This thing I have with timing is how I know that the "worst thing I've ever heard" isn't the worst after all- because I can hardly recall which year it even happened. Therefore, it can't be anything of such great significance in my life. Sure, it taught me things, it allowed me to see people for who they are, and all that good stuff. And yes, at the time, it killed. But in real time? It killed the wretched, crazy person I was becoming so I could be me again.
You could say I have claimed the title of Worst Timing Ever with my recent love stories. But I beg to differ. I think that would go to Dexter in the movie at hand. He spent 20 years of his life putting the person he was in love with aside so he could "sow his wild oats," just to finally be with her, and then she (SPOILER!) dies. Honestly, I'm not even sure if he got the short end of the stick here, or if Emma did. She spent the same 20 years living with people she wasn't in love with, basically waiting for Dexter, then got over him, just so he could come back around for good, and then she, (SPOILER AGAIN!) dies! That's a toss up if I've ever heard of one. That's also the movie in a nutshell, so no need to Netflix it and cry your eyes out like I did.
The valuable lessons of this particular chick flick are obvious. And yes, there are valuable lessons in chick flicks. At least for the hopeless romantic viewers.
Valuable Lesson #1
Grow enough balls to tell the people you are in love with that you are in love with them ASAP. None of this waiting 20 years bullsh*t. It's something we are told day after day, year after year. Why it's such a hard concept for some to grasp is beyond me. They don't love you back? Play like that Jay-Z song and be On to the Next One. (Easier rapped than done).
Valuable Lesson #2
"Sowing your wild oats" is a cop out for those less certain of what they want. According to Urban Dictionary (my very favorite, very credible source), "sowing your wild oats" means to "have sex with as many people, enjoy life, and have fun before settling down." In other words "my maturity level is that of a 17-year old and I'm sorry that I can't get my shit together enough to commit to one sole person yet." Man, who knew Urban Dictionary was so smart?
Valuable Lesson #3
Some things never get forgotten. The way you make someone feel is something that will never be forgotten. You could run away and stop all communication, come back in a year and it will still be there. I'd like to think people can move on or turn things off, but I have the gut instinct that they do not, and chick flicks completely back me up on this. Take "The Notebook," for example. Allie went away for however long it was, was THIS close to getting wifed up by someone else, and then BAM! As the movie says (right before that hot sex scene), "it still isn't over."
Valuable Lesson #4
This is a good one, in part because I was such a jerk in Valuable Lessons #1 and #2. People should be with people that make them better people. My favorite line in the movie: "She made you decent, and you made her so happy."
If I have learned anything from my slew of chick flicks lately, it's that I need to be with someone that makes me a better person, and the person I'm with has to feel the same way. Not in the "before you, I was a mass-murderer and never showered and now I go to church every Sunday so fresh and so clean" way, but in the "before you, I wanted to sleep around, and mack on chicks, and now I only want to get it on with you" way. Or something like that, maybe.
No, but it really is a Valuable Lesson. For example, I know I have the tendency to plan too much, so the person I'll end up with will hopefully make me be more spontaneous. I like to think way too much about things, so the person I'm with will most likely tell me quite often to stop thinking and get on with it. I have the habit of getting envious of people for no apparent reason, so the person I'll end up with will make me feel even more confident in whatever it is I have, that envy won't be an issue. I know I can act way too grown up and work too hard, so they will play with me until I am reminded of never having to actually grow up, and lay in bed with me until we want to face the day. I'd even go as far as to say that since I have a the tendency of spending way more than I should, I'll end up with a number cruncher; but I don't think I'd ever allow that. Besides, no one likes a cheap ass.
So, in any event, if it just so happens that some random Tuesday morning comes around, and you find out that the person you are with is cheating on you and is, in fact, in love with someone else, it might seem like the worst thing you've ever heard- up to that unknown year in your life. In addition, if you are like me, you were probably being wretched to everyone you saw for weeks prior because you knew something was up-again, in that unknown year. You were probably losing yourself while you spent all of your time trying to find your girlfriend. You probably didn't know that you aren't supposed to be with someone that makes you a spiraling roller coaster of depressing emotions. You are, on the contrary, supposed to be with someone that makes you a flailing roller coaster of love, passion, and excitement. Yes, I said flailing.
There is only one way I could have known all of this during that unknown year when I heard the "worst thing I've ever heard": If only "One Day" had come out in 2010, instead of 2011. I guess some things really do go unforgotten.
What's the point of them, if they aren't making you a better person?
No comments:
Post a Comment