Monday, January 27, 2014

I Didn't Know It Was Needed, But In Defense of Macklemore & Ryan Lewis

Am I the only same-sex oriented person that isn't mad at Macklemore? According to a recent Thought Catalog post, and some not-so-recent-but-still really angry tweets from Le1f (a queer rapper, who knew?), hating on Macklemore because he is a "straight white dude" and he supports equal rights is the new jig. Because THAT makes sense. Since when does speaking out for what you believe in and happen to be passionate about result in a backlash of support? Actually, probably since forever, now that I mention it. It's no secret that you will most likely offend someone by speaking out about an issue. But to be upset over something like THIS is just ignorant, in my opinion.

Now, I say this only from my own knowledge, and I'd like to put it out there that "my own knowledge" doesn't do anyone justice in this sitch. I'm not, by any means, a rap/hip-hop guru, but I like to think that I'm culturally sound and I, at least, know enough to know that I had never even heard of this Le1f rapper until exactly 10 minutes prior to writing this blog. I'm a white lesbian whose CD player currently houses KelClark and a mix of today's Top 20, so to think I would ever get involved in a debate having anything at all to do with rap/hip-hop is a little shy of insane. I had just enough time to search for Le1f on YouTube and Google, and listen to Le1f's song that was apparently "ripped off" for Thrift Shop, and those investigations alone were enough to allow me to make up my mind on the issue. This whole controversy struck a chord with my lesbian ass and I felt, as a complete nobody, I needed to defend Macklemore & Ryan Lewis because, without further need for an explanation, they are doing damn great things for mankind.

I get it. Le1f is the EPITOME of everything Macklemore represents in his song "Same Love." He's an African American gay rapper. But unlucky for Le1f, Macklemore just so happens to be doing a better job at repping that ideal to the public. Not to drop down a few notches on the maturity spectrum, but this entire battle (which seems to be one-sided with no rebuttal from Macklemore in sight) just makes Le1f seem a little butt hurt that he isn't scoring millions of hits on YouTube or snatching up awards left and right. We all know the saying, everyone gets their 15 minutes of fame; it just seems like Le1f is wasting his on making a poor name for himself by fighting a really great, brave thing instead of embracing Macklemore & Ryan Lewis as people that are shedding a positive light on the lifestyles of people JUST. LIKE. HIM.

Macklemore & Ryan Lewis are not only expressing acceptance of same-sex marriage, interracial couples, and equal rights overall. They are proving that you don't have to BE what you believe in just to make a difference. As a woman that's banking on having the ability to marry my (read: really hot and extremely wonderful but has yet to exist) girlfriend someday, I am so grateful for people like Macklemore & Ryan Lewis, who happen to be largely in the public eye right now, and are using that fame and publicity for a great cause.

Besides, what would this scenario look like if it was the other way around? Two white, straight men shooting down equality and publicizing the idea that it's completely okay to place hate, harsh judgment and legal bans on people that don't possess the same skin color or the same sexual preference. Does that sound like a better alternative?

With that said, let's all - rapper (like Le1f), Project Manager (like me...), gay, straight, bisexual, transgendered, white, black, yellow, spray-tan orange, like everyone, ever - try to pick our battles wisely and be proud to have people in the spotlight that are so open-minded, accepting, and eager to make a difference in the world.
 

Sunday, January 26, 2014

That Time of the Month: A Guide For Men


I think I can speak for every woman in the world when I say that when it's That Time of the Month, we want to curse the world up, down, and sideways. Men, no matter what you say, you just don't understand the utter shit that we women have to endure just to someday possibly bring your sperm to life. I'm here to help drive home what every woman wants you to know for That Time of the Month.

1. When you think it's That Time of the Month, automatically add one week at the beginning, and one week at the end, and THAT is That Time of the Month. No, no. It's not just one week, gentlemen. Side affects of That Time of the Month leak into almost 3 weeks out of the month. Better get used to it.

2. We don't want to have sex. Because that's disgusting. And if you do have sex during this time, you're disgusting. I'm sorry, ladies. There has got to be a line to your freakishness. It just has to stop somewhere.

3. When a woman is pissed at you, NEVER, and I repeat, NEVER ask her "is it that time of the month for you!?" I'm not even going to get into why you shouldn't do this. Just fucking don't do it.

4. Things that have probably never ached on a woman before will ache during That Time of the Month. Literally, the possibilities are endless. Cramps and headaches, obvi. But the list goes on: her back might hurt, or she might just feel extremely tired, she might get the chills or feel feverish. If it's attached to her body, the chances of it aching at one point or another are good.

5. A woman could eat nothing but lettuce for the entire month, but she will still feel bloated as hell during That Time of the Month, and there's nothing you can do or say to make that go away. Just give her chocolate and ice cream, and while we're at it, flowers, and go about your business.

6. I bet you never knew we could twist our bodies into pretzels just to give ourselves relief. There's a reason we are curled up in the fetal position in the middle of the night, and it's because our damn uterus is bleeding out, causing horrible crampage, and we apparently can't relax unless we look like we are deformed.

7. I'm sorry if you think there's nothing hot about a heating pad in or around our bed, but can you warm my pelvic area with your love? No. You can't. So this heating pad will stay right here. Thanks.

8. Crying can happen at absolutely any time. A Facebook status, seeing a baby, a song, a movie, making breakfast, missing a call, ANY. TIME. If you think you're being funny, you're probably on the verge of making a woman cry.

9. If a woman is single, and you're, I don't know, her best man friend or something, she's probably cursing her ex. Then missing her ex. Then cursing her ex. Then crying over her ex... Your job is this: Remind her it's her ex for a reason, and buy her alcohol. (read: Then hide her phone).

10. The first day of That Time of the Month is the worst day. If you were smart, you'd note this date for future reference, and just avoid women at all costs during this time. You've been warned.

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Steve Says We Have to Trust in Something

This quote has completely resonated with me lately and it's helped me realize some things. Recently, I've had some friends that break my heart just by talking about their current relationship status, or why something isn't working out for them at work, for example. Maybe it's just the age we're at; that pivotal time in life we're taught that we are supposed to be figuring shit out. Things like what work we want to be tied to, or what person we want to settle down with. But even if we think we have it all figured out, there's always kinks in the plan. Things never go as smooth as they do in our own minds. It's like they say, there's no point in planning because what's meant to happen is going to happen, regardless. But for someone like me, and I THINK for some of my friends, as well, not having a plan isn't something we're great at coming to terms with. Maybe it's not so much a plan that we need, as it is a well-thought out order of everything in our lives.

I've decided lately that no matter how much I plan something, and no matter how much I WANT something, hard work and an A for effort can only take me so far. I've learned that since I can't control anything or anyone, like good ol' Steve Jobs says, I just need to trust in something instead. For me, I want to trust in what I deserve. Call it karma, if you want, but I want to know what I'm looking for in a person, and I want to know what I deserve in a person, just like I want to know what I deserve in my career, in friendships, and in life in general.

For me, at this point in my life, this isn't the pivotal age to be figuring EVERYTHING out. It's only the time to be figuring out what I deserve and what I'm aiming to achieve and who I'm hoping to notsettlebutsettledownwith. And that's perfectly okay. It's totally FINE to not have a significant other, or my dream job, or my dream car - things that I know I would love to have someday, but it's not right this second and that's alright. That way, when I actually need to figure something out for good, not only will I have a great starting point, I will have a very well-thought out idea of what exactly I deserve.  

Thursday, January 2, 2014

Reflecting for Reflection's Sake

With the new year and all, I get that it's a total time for reflection. I've seen what "sucked in 2013!" or the things that made 2013 the "best. year. ever." via social media, and either way, somehow they managed to sum up an entire year in one Facebook status. It's a bit of a relief when you look around you and you realize that, right along with so many other people your age, it's normal if you're not exactly where you thought you'd be by this time in your life. It might be your career that's got you down, or your lack of a career, at that. Or maybe it's the fact that you thought you'd be settled down with #1 by now, contemplating the important things in life like what color to paint your dining room and what curtains make your ceilings look taller.

I wonder if all of this reflection, even though obviously a result of a new year, is also a single twentysomething, with no children, and a little fear of my future self, acknowledging the fact that I still have a small window of time to make drastic changes in life without having an impact on anyone else. I've always been one to think that with deep reflection, comes deep change. But, and there's always a but, maybe I've changed my mind, and deep change isn't what I, or people in general, need in times like this.

Let's just reflect for reflection's sake. For me, reflection has become an act of just simply taking a look back, carrying certain things with you and letting certain things go as you move forward. Maybe it's time we start taking this reflection business a little less serious. We're sure giving it a lot of credit these days, when really, WE are the ones doing the damn thing. Let's decide that big life changes are overrated for a change, and let's not attempt at changing ourselves so drastically. Of course everyone should always be working to improve upon their self. I'm definitely an advocate for self improvement. But just because it's a new year, and we've all spent so much time looking back at what's brought us to where we are right this second that we have actually started to be sick of ourselves, that doesn't mean we need to pressure ourselves to make changes. There are no "Quick Wins" in life. No big solutions to make us better people. It's the small solutions, the day by day things that make us who we want to be. It's the growing that changes us, not being fully grown.

Look at it this way...How likely is it finding love in 2014 will make YOU feel better about YOURself on a daily basis? You can't set a goal for something like that, it happens without your consent. How quickly do you think you'll be able to really let go of your guilt and your regrets that keep you a little peeved at life? These things are big and important for many reasons, and they should very-well be on your list of things to accomplish if that's what fancies you. But what's more important than these things is the small stuff in your day that combine in one huge way to build who you are as a person. It's the small changes that really contribute to a person's well-being. Small changes like wearing high heels and lipstick because, while small, those things make you feel more confident. Small changes like taking MORE time off work to have a mental health day or to just BE - Be who you want to be when you don't have to answer to someone, don't have to dress up, don't have to leave the couch. Just BE. Small changes like taking LESS time off work because well, you should just go to work already. Things like finding NEW work because you're more than what you're doing. Say no to things that will make you want to apologize to someone later. Doing what you want doesn't mean it's the best thing to do. Things like mentally telling yourself to 'STOP' when you're thinking negatively, and things like taking a hiatus from social media because compare, compare, compare.

These small things make you who you are more than any love that you could find should. They make you who you are more than any guilt or regrets should. There's no reason to have one or two massive goals in mind when you want to become a better person. Be good to yourself by recognizing the small things that make you who you are, and what makes you better day in and day out. Here's a hint: It will never reside in, revolve around, or even come close to including someone else. If it does, you're doing it wrong.